Mom is home from the hospital, job search continues

She's not back to herself, but she's trying to make as little work for me as possible. I really wish my father would do the same. He wants to be lazy, have everyone do everything for him but won't go into a nursing home. Like he would rather make life hell for me and my mother. It's like he's trying to make himself weaker too. He can get around using a walker, but insists on using a wheelchair instead. He'd make a bed-ridden invalid of himself if he could get away with it.

In other news, remember that job interview I had?

Well, it didn't happen. I had to call and rescheduled due to my relief coming in 10 minutes late. Which caused me to miss my bus. And the next one was late. Yeah, got fucked over by both my job and public transportation. Not cool. And when I called and rescheduled I only got to talk to a voicemail. They never returned my call. I called again Tuesday, still no returned call. Really not cool. I don't think I would have gotten the job anyway. Too corporate. I doubt my current haircut and colour would have flown. And the last time I changed my look for a job I regretted it. I'd rather not do that again. Though I did meet some cool people so it wasn't all bad. Still when your boss seems to be more concerned about your grooming that how you do your job, something is seriously fucked up.

I'm still on the hunt for something else. Been thinking maybe it's time to do something that is not hospitality. Not sure what though. I've been a Help desk person, network admin, college teacher, substitute school teacher, mechanic, hotel desk guy, night auditor. I've done a lot. I'm not even sure where to go from here. I want to be a high school math teacher, but I need to finish my degree first.

I'm sick of dealing with stupid bull shit like what I had to deal with tonight. Why can't people just shut the fuck up when I tell them other hotel guests are complaining about their noise? And why do they have to tell me how much money they are spending? I don't give a shit. What makes people think that the amount of money they spend invalidates someone else's complaint? What am I supposed to do? Tell them, "I'm really sorry, the people that are keeping you awake spent more money than you so you are just going to have to put up with it." Yeah, I'm sure that will go over really well.

It's been a while since I've said anything, but I've got a lot going on

Let's start with the really big deal, my mother is in the hospital. She's got Mercer. She went in soon enough though. She's on some serious antibiotics. I think everything will turn out OK. I can only hope for it. She went in Friday. I found out after returning from a job interview, but I'll get to that in a moment. Since I have been busy with work and taking care of my father. And not sleeping much. My father is a lot of work, he really needs to do more for himself or go back into the rehab center until he can. They sent him home way too early.

I don't know how my mom does it honestly. Since my father has come home from the rehab, he's like a big baby. A 250lb, 74 year old baby, with a really bad attitude. And it's not because of sickness and old age, but that he has made himself dependant on anyone who will do anything for him. He's not doing anything to get better and attempts to get him to are met with him whining "I can't!" Seen it too many times when the therapists are over. He's a handful for me and I'm young and healthy.

Last time I talked to my mom she was doing well, or about as well as can be.

I mentioned I had a job interview, didn't I?

Yeah I'm really pissed with my job again, so I was doing some vengeance job hunting. And I got a response. And a interview this past Friday. It went quite well and I have another interview in the morning. If all goes well, I will be a call center supervisor. Heck, I'll take just about anything that pays the same or better to get me out of here. Not much has changed since I bitched about it here before and what really irks me the most is that some people can't bring themselves to show up for work on time. Like I really want to get out at 7am, when I'm supposed to, but I looked at the schedule and I know that's not going to happen. And depending on how late they are, I could be really fucked over for time. Not cool, really not cool. I made about 2 hours overtime last week thanks to my co-workers, but you know what? I would have rather they got here on time. It's not fucking rocket science. I get to work on time nearly every day and I use public transportation. Seriously, what the fuck? How can you work at the same place for years and never show up on time? And not get fired over it?

Great job done today by PSTA at 6:45 PM, left a pregnant woman and several others behind at a stop.

I was one of those others and here's the complaint I just submitted to PSTA. I really need a car.

Myself and several others were waiting for the northbound rt18 in front of the Dollar Tree at Largo Mall. This bus arrived just behind the southbound rt 18 and the Westbound rt 59. While those other 2 buses stopped at the stop and waited, bus #2202 went around them and kept going, only stopping well behind the stop to let passengers off, not giving any time to allow any one to get on the bus. People were left behind at this stop including a pregnant woman. Most of the others at the stop that needed this bus,including myself, ran across the parking lot to catch it at the other stop.

This is just another in a long list of complaints I have had about your service. I really wish at this point that I could afford a car so I wouldn't have to use you shoddy excuse for a public transportation system.

Need help deciding on a laptop

With a better soldering iron than the one I have, I might be able to fix my Dell. The power connector has gone bad. Actually the connection between it and the motherboard is what has gone bad. As I said, with a good soldering iron I should be able to fix it. According to Dell, I should be replacing the motherboard. I've looked at new and refurbished cards online and $300-450 is way too much to soak into a 3 year old laptop that has had a quite few issues since I bought it. If I can't fix it, I'm going to have to replace it.

The question then becomes what with? I at least need something that can handle Eve-Online. I haven't played Eve in too long and I miss shooting at Amarr. If it can run Eve, it can run the other games I like. I did see this Toshiba at the local Walmart. Less than $400, meets the requirements. Not sure how good of a laptop it really is though. I don't want another Dell. I will not buy another Dell product again. I'm open to suggestions here. I don't want to spend a lot of money, but I don't want to buy a piece of junk either.

So can anyone recommend a good laptop with a good graphics card that's not too terribly expensive?

Can we start blacklisting people and organizations again?

Really can we?

Here's a case in point - tonight at the hotel that I am working at we have this group that is being rude to the staff and guests alike, acting like they think they own the place, being drunk, loud and otherwise obnoxious. They stayed at the hotel last year around this time and acted the same way. They were at the hotel I used to work at and were no different. In dealing with their leader guy, they think because they are spending what they think is a lot of money, they can do what ever they want. Meanwhile I have guests that are complaining about the noise. Amusingly enough they are threatening not to come here any more. Not much of a threat really.

Not the first time a dealt with a group like this. Or even an individual that acts this way. Sometimes I think blacklisting would be another method of recourse that might just reduce such instances. I could just see the potential for a group such as the one mentioned above to blacklist themselves out of places to have their functions.

Sadly there are just some people that will never catch on to the reason why people have a problem with them is because they are a problem.

Events like this also have me thinking about why people think that because they spent a given amount of money and/or have taken a given number of rooms that it entitles them have free reign over the entire hotel and not care that they are keeping other people awake or just being otherwise rude.

I think I'm done venting for now.

I feel..........

...Disappointed - I came in to work tonight to a note of apology from my day shift about the paperwork. I was expecting worse, but it wasn't really anything all that bad. The restaurant's printer pissed me off more. I want to go Office Space on it.

...Bloated - I've put on weight, I really need to do something about it, but today I feel more bloated than usual today.

...Sore - My feet hurt all the damn time. I think I need to find some good shoes for walking/everyday use. The cheap shoes I've been wearing hurt more than my 6" heels. And if my feet didn't hurt so much, I'd jog more.

...Like I'm about to puke - Seriously, my stomach is not so good right now. Might have been something I ate.

I think that's about it for now. Stay tuned though, I'm in a mood for a rant about video games.

Sometimes I can win, sometimes I can't

I managed to make the fridge work, now it's my laptop that's making problems.

The AC adaptor went bad and the battery emptied out. So I get a new AC adapter. When I plug it in to the laptop, the light on it goes out and the laptop does not see that the AC adapter is connected. So I was thinking it was a bad battery. I got a new battery and the same thing happens. It will boot up and run on the new battery. It doesn't run on the AC adapter. When I plug it in, nothing happens on the Laptop. And the light still goes out on the adaptor.

The only thing I can think of this being here it that something may have gone bad in the connector on the laptop. I have a good battery and a good adapter, both work fine on another laptop.

The Laptop is a Dell Inspiron 1420. If anyone can give me some advice here, I'd really appreciate it.

Anyone that reads this know anything about fixing refrigerators?

So I'm at my mom's house today and she wants me to take a look at the refrigerator. It's filling up with water. It's not one of those fancy modern ones with an ice maker or anything like that. I'd guess it's just condensed water that it's filling up with but I'm kinda stumped on how to make it stop. Any ideas?

Yeah, this guy puts the mental in fundementalist

More lunatic behavior from the fundies -

Ever since I read about what you do and saw a picture, I have been unable
to read anything you write without my stomach turning. I'm not joking. I
actually get nauseous whenever I see your username.

Wearing women's clothes (see I Corinthians 6:9) deems you worthy of
the burning fires of eternity and complete separation from God. Are you prepared
for that? I don't think so.

I think the only reason you hang out here is the same reason that fool,
Granite and Flipper hang around. You all know that God is true and you also know
that His people are forgiven (even though they don't appear perfect to you) and
you secretly desire that forgiveness but your pride is still in the way.

You know you are sick and in need of the Savior, Jesus Christ. The molten
lava in God's cup of wrath is poised over your head and you can feel it's heat.
It worries and concerns you but you just haven't seen the need to trust Jesus in
faith yet so that He can save you from that wrath. You're hoping that your
season of sin can last just a little bit longer.

Your days are running out though. Your sin is no longer fun and you know
it. It's time to let down your pride, let down your guard, and quit running from
the living God who desires to lavish His grace and blessings on you.

REPENT OF YOUR UNBELIEF OR PERISH FOREVER!!!

Source.

I seriously wonder just what this guy thinks I'm up to. Or what he read about me that I may have missed. This, BTW is not the first time I've had a run-in with this guy. His name is Adam Briggs and he's a pastor at a church somewhere in Indiana. Call me crazy, but I actually want to pay him a visit at his church one sunday morning. I think the theatrics that would ensue would be hilarious.

There's also several spats I've had with him on TheologyOnline.com. This guy has a huge hangup on me being transgender. Here's one from a while back -

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adambassador
So says the person that can't even take care of himself.
The person who runs amok in our society, parading as a woman and deceiving
people everywhere.

Yeah. Total loonball I know.

Well maybe visiting him at church might prove him right there, but the show might be worth it.

I guess he does have a point.

And this is why I love TheologyOnline, only there can I find people that think this is a completely logical argument.

Originally Posted by Nick M You must be one big retard to say Boeing 777's just devolp into working machines if left in a pile of parts over billions of years.

Source.

I really wish he was joking.

I'm really concerned about my father and could really use some advice

I was talking to my mom earlier today, she was with my father at the rehab centre today. I didn't like what I heard and I have to say I'm a bit worried for him. I was worried any way because the last time I saw him he looked really sad. Not just in sad shape but sad emotionally. Yeah, in the past years since he stopped working he hasn't been the greatest husband to my mother and I haven't gotten along all that well with him since I was an older teenager, but he is still my father. He wasn't always like he has been and he hasn't done anything bad enough to deserve this. I still care about him. He was a good father.

He's not getting proper care. They are supposed to be in his room to check on him every 2 hours. My mother was there several hours today and someone was only there to bring him lunch. They have him in a Depends because of his bladder control problem. Well that and the fact that he can't get out of the bed on his own. It went unchanged and unchecked until my mother said something to the charge nurse and regrettably that was after he had a bowel movement in it. According to my mother, when they changed it, it was saturated. Now I know you can't leave a baby in a dirty or wet diaper, so it makes sense to me that the same goes for a 73 year old man in a Depends.

There's another thing. We are nearly positive he's being drugged in some way. I know my dad. He's been my dad for all my 33 years. My mother is telling me he's scared of the staff there. Now I do understand that realizing one's own mortality may does things to a person, but this just isn't him. He was a biker. He raced cars. He raced motorcycles. He raced boats. I wouldn't have put it past him to race planes if he had the money and pilot's licence. Same goes for anything else that could be made to go faster. In his younger days he was a bouncer at a bar. He was forced to drop out of high school because of the number of fights he found himself in then. He was always a tough, stubborn and fearless man. If personality traits are genetic, it's certainly where the tougher side of me comes from. I remember rather vividly at my high school graduation someone making a remark about where he parked his customised '56 T-bird. My dad was right in that guy's face. Trust me when I say this, hearing about him fearing anyone is a huge shock. Even in his rather disabled state, it would be more likely to hear about him beating the stuffing out of a staff member rather than fearing them.

I'm going to pay the rehab a visit. I do need some advice first. Especially if any of this continues. As much as I'd like to walk in there and crack a few skulls, I have a feeling that's probly not the best course of action. Has anyone ever had to deal with this sort of thing?

I just want him to get well and be mobile again.

He's in a rehab centre now

Nursing home, rehab centre, he will tell you it's a jail.

It's his fault he's there. He should have taken better care of himself. He should have listened to me. He should have listened to my mom.

The doctor was at least able to figure out what is going on with his arm. It's just severe arthritis. There is a surgery they can do, but they are giving him steroids and physical therapy in an effort to avoid surgery.

If he can be up and mobile, he can come home. He's way too much for my mom to take care of if he is not mobile. He's not seeing it that way yet. Hopefully he will. Hopefully he will get good care while he is there. It looks like nice place.

We have bigger concerns now. When my mom and I went back to her place to pick up some of his things to bring back to him, there was a card on the door from a Department of children and Families Adult Protection investigator. I'm worried for my mom. Since he has been in the hospital, we have been working to get the smell out of the house. In case I never made it clear, he has had a bladder control problem for years and lives in an easy chair. He refuses to wear Depends or anything of that nature. The chair is saturated with urine, the house reeks. He also goes for months with out bathing. Making him and the house reek more. He's got what appears to be bedsores on his butt and the backs of his legs. He looks like a serious case of neglect.

My mother cleaned up after him a on regular basis. She begged, pleaded, and argued with him to wear the Depends. Same goes for getting him to bathe or even to get up and walk around or just do something other than sit in his chair and rot. She's talked to his doctor about the sores and about his bladder problem. They tried to do something about the bladder control and did nothing about the sores.

I'm going to be pissed if DCF does anything to my mom. She's done nothing wrong. She's done everything she could short of getting him hauled out of there. I don't blame her for any of this, I blame him. She tried to help him, he did nothing but fight her.

I'm going to be continuing to help her with the house so when they do come to inspect, it doesn't look so bad.

Another update on my father

I got a lot going through my head. A few days ago I was talking to my close friend and virtual big sister, Meg, about my feeling like I need to make some level of peace with my father. He's got one foot in the grave and another on a banana. There's a rather long list of things that's wrong with him. I don't think he's going soon, but let's just say it looks pretty grim. Most anyone that has known me long enough knows I haven't gotten along with him hardly at all in my adult life. I still care about him on some level, not sure why.

One thing that was brought to my attention in talking to Meg was that I have never really done anything wrong by him. While it was a conscious effort or not, he has managed to totally alienate me from him. It should be the other way around. He's too stubborn, too full of himself, too set in his ways for that. I'm not expecting it.

I think another issue I'm contending with is not the need to make peace but the need for some level of approval. Something I really never had. My mom told me a few times that he is proud of me, but he never said it, never showed it, never seemed to care. At least not in my adult life. I was the first in either side of the family to graduate college, and graduated with honors. He actually looks down on me for it. I went back to college and twice made the National Dean's List. He told me the first time "that and a quarter will get you a phone call" I didn't bother telling him the second time. I studied at Cambridge University. He didn't seem to care at all. I did hear him telling a nurse one of the other times he was in the hospital about his son, the college professor, but he was telling it to her in a way that sounded like he wanted the recognition.

Sadly, I'd soon have his approval if I traded in those accomplishments that I'm proud of for a pretty, fast car, a case of trophies and a career as a mechanic. Then maybe I'd have his approval. That brings some questions. Would I be living for myself or living for him? Would I be happy? Do I need his approval?

I'm not my father. I'm not about living for him or living in his shadow either. I'm my own person. I'm proud of who I am. I'm happy with my life. As long as I have that, I don't require his approval. I don't require him to be proud of me. Though it would be nice, it is certainly not needed. If he can't accept me for who I am, that's his problem, not mine.

OK, so I'm glad I got that off my chest, now for something else that has been eating at me.

Like I said, for whatever reason, I still care about him. I think it has something to do with the fact that he wasn't always like this. I try to keep that in mind, keeps me from hating him totally and reminds me that part of his problem stems from things like anger and depression brought on by his deteriorating condition.

I don't think he's really getting proper care from the doctor or the hospital. Yes, part of this is his refusal of tests and procedures, but it also has to do with the doctors and the hospital itself. He's nearly constantly being told he can refuse. No one tries to encourage him in any way. Me and my mother can't be there all the time. And there's some stupid things going on too. Like they will take an X-ray of his arm and after he's all comfy back in his room decide it's not good enough and want another one. I'm not doctor, but I know it doesn't take long for X-rays to develop. Wouldn't it be smarter to keep him there until they get the picture they want?

That's just an example. They complain that he's costing the hospital too much money. They are part of the problem. They want to put him in a nursing home. Hey, I'll agree it's not a bad thing for him, but he's got problems that need to be taken care of. I think I might need to go down there and raise a little hell on his behalf.

That's enough insight into my little world for now. I would appreciate some comments on this one.

More fun with Fundies

I think the PM I just received is pretty self explanatory.

Dear Persephone66,

You have received a warning at Theology Forum | Theology Online.

Reason:
-------
Unnecessarily disruptive

If you have nothing to add please stay out of the thread.

In fact... if you have nothing to add to the forum in general, please find another forum to participate on.
-------

Original Post:
http://www.theologyonline.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2287705

Quote:

Umm look it up on wikipedia?

Warnings serve as a reminder to you of the forum's rules, which you are expected to understand and follow.

All the best,
Theology Forum | Theology Online

Well excuse me for giving you a pretty valid suggestion!

He wanted to know what legalism meant. Perhaps he fears that spending time on sites like wikipedia might enlighten him. He could have done a fucking google search too. Or at least rephrased his question a little differently. Like maybe said "What does legalism mean to you?" Is that really so hard?

More Fundamentalist Christian idiocy and judgment.

Fundies amuse me, their judgment and what they can tell me about myself amuses me more.

In this thread on TOL, a Christian homophobe jack ass seems to be happy that gays are being executed. Because his homophobe God would want it that way, says so in the Bible.

I decide to make this rather light-hearted remark -

I guess you and BillyBob can't go vacationing there.

Come on, that was funny.

He responds to it with this drivel -

You've always had a problem with understanding what it means to have men as friends. Apparently, it's something your father implanted in you, and the reason why you'd rather be a woman.

There you have it folks, I don't understand what it means to have men as friends. Let that be a warning to you guys that I thought I was friends with. Also it seems this guy knows more about my childhood than I do. As per usual, Christians who have only really just met me know everything about me, aren't they grand? I wonder what else they can tell me about myself.