Saturday, August 28, 2010

For once I'm not bitching about my co-workers, but still bitching about my job at the hotel

I don't know if there's any way to completely avoid having parties in rooms, but if there is, I'd like to know.

Honestly, I don't care what people are doing in their rooms, even if it is a party. I've been to quite a few parties in hotel rooms, even hosted a few. Never was a problem for hotel staff and certainly was not at all rude to them. However, when my phone rings at the desk and there's a guest complaining about noise on the line, I HAVE TO care.

I have a splitting headache right now. Been dealing with drunk, stupid, and just flat out annoying people all night. Had the police here three times so far. I'm just sick of it all. So sick of it.

I'm going to take a little bit of time for some therapeutic venting about some of the more ridiculous things I hear from guests when I have to tell them they need to shut the fuck up, erm I mean quiet down.

Which room was it?

No, I'm not telling you which room. Does it fucking matter? You need to shut the fuck up that's all you need to know, that simple. Now shut the fuck up. No, you can't smooth it over with them. You woke them up or you are keeping them awake. Shutting the fuck up is the best way to smooth it over. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Do you know how much I spent? Do you know how much my group has spent?

I don't give a shit. If I really want to know, then I can look it up. I'm the auditor, I can do that. Turns out, I don't care and it doesn't make a difference. You need to shut the fuck up. Do you think there's some point where you have spent enough money that you can be allowed to do whatever you want and ruin someone else's stay in the process? Am I supposed to tell the person being deprived of a night's sleep that their complaint is irrelevant because of how much money you spent? If they or their group spent more, does that make their complaint more relevant? Just shut the fuck up, you are making yourself look more like an asshole.

Go ahead! Call the police!

OK. Start packing your bags now. Could have been avoided if you just shut the fuck up.

I'll have your job!

You really want it that badly? I'll take a night off, I need it. You can tell people to shut the fuck up. How about that? Oh? you want me fired? For doing my job? Good luck with that. My manager will be here in the morning and I'll still be here at night. Seriously, has any hotel employee that works in any security capacity been fired for addressing a noise complaint? No, they haven't. Save yourself the waste of time. Have a Coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up.

But it's a wedding!

Yes it is, and you had your reception in one of the banquet halls. Now you are in your room, now you need to shut the fuck up. Does that negate the fact that you are keeping people awake? And what are all these people doing in your room anyway? Party's over, get to fuckin and shut the fuck up.

I'm calling my lawyer! I'm suing you!

Cool. See you in court. I'll bet the judge tells you to shut the fuck up.

I know the owner!

So do I. If he were here right now, he'd tell you to shut the fuck up. (OK, I don't know that for sure, but if I were the owner, I'd tell them to shut the fuck up.) - True story, I called a guest's buff one time and told them I was the owner's son and this hotel would be mine someday. Know what they did? They shut the fuck up.

But what if.....

The only "what if' you need to be concerned with is what if you don't shut the fuck up. I'm not here to talk hypotheticals, I'm here to tell you to shut the fuck up. What part of "Shut the fuck up" don't you understand?

How about I....

How about you shut the fuck up? This isn't a negotiation, I'm telling you to shut the fuck up. It's not a topic for discussion, you need to shut the fuck up.

I feel so much better now. For the record, I have never actually said "shut the fuck up" to a guest. I may have been holding back the urge to once or several times. I really feel I have to say that. Sometimes the things I say here get back to those I work with. I wouldn't want them thinking that I get as foul with the guests as I do in my blog. And if they are reading this and not having a good laugh, they really need to just shut the fuck up.

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